Saturday, December 15, 2007

Mad Magazine's 20 dumbest people, events and things of 2007

This is the January issue cover story that just arrived at our house. (And no, I'm not the one with the subscription.)
Anyway, here's a rundown of the list. Surprisingly, Bill O'Reilly isn't mentioned. Notice how all the political ones, though, involve conservatives. Does Mad have a liberal bias? (ha ha!):
20. Sanjaya (Indian bummer)
19. The latest animal to go on the endangered species list (the family pet, due to tainted pet food. Hey, I didn't say they were all funny.)
18. The Senator in the bathroom stall (Craig's lust)
17. Alberto Gonzales (the nation's chief flawed officer)
16. Lindsay Lohan (human crash test dummy)
15. "If I Did It" by O.J. Simpson (Murder, he wrote)
14. The creation museums (You can't Darwin them all.)
13. The Sopranos finale (Bada Bing! Bada Boo!)
12. Scooter Libby (A man for all treasons)
11. Wild horses' ass (Keith Richards sniffs his father's ashes)
10. Isiah Washington bashes homosexuals (Gay's animosity.)
9. The Giant Toy Recall (a China pattern)
8. The crazy diapered astronaut (Houston, we have a mental problem)
7. Paris Hilton (the ultimate dumb blonde joke)
6. The Anna Nicole Smith paternity trial (Who's your daddy?)
5. Walter Reed Army Hospital scandal (toying with men's lives)
4. Britney Spears (strife in the fast lane)
3. Imus (Nappy headed host)
2. Bush breaks presidential record for time off. (Vacation daze)
1. Michael Vick's bad newz kennel (Pitbullsh*t)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A couple of good pieces of reading

It's heartening to see more columnists not standing by for Bill O'Reilly's foolishness. Here are a couple of examples.

First, there's this column by Mike Ball in the North Star Writers Group.

It begins this way:

December 10, 2007

Happy Xmas to Bill O’Reilly

Boy, did I ever screw up the other day. I said, “Happy Holidays” to a Bill O’Reilly Fan. Lucky for me, this particular BORF was kind enough to immediately point out the error of my ways.

BORF: Happy Holidays? Tell me, why do you hate Jesus so much?

You can see where this might be going.

Then there's Carol Towarnicky's "The War Over the War on Christmas," which begins like this:

REST NOW, ye merry gentlemen - Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly says he has defeated the "forces of darkness" that supposedly were waging a "War on Christmas."

When underpaid and underinsured cashiers sell you stuff you can't afford to give to people who don't really need it, much of it made in deplorable conditions overseas, they will be sure to wish you a "Merry Christmas" instead of that sinister "Happy Holidays."

You can find the full articles at the links.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Quotables from "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" Nov. 26-30, 2007

NEW YORK – December 5, 2007 – Following are quotes from "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" for the week of November 26-30. "Countdown With Keith Olbermann." Complete program transcripts are available at

[Referring to the dog that bit a player during the Auburn vs. Alabama football game] Olbermann: "The dog was escorted from the sidelines and caught the first flight to Atlanta for the Michael Vick sentencing."

Olbermann: "The value of celebrity endorsements [in Presidential elections] is in doubt, however, according to a recent Pew Poll that shows newspapers carry more weight than celebrities, that and endorsements from, say, Bill O'Reilly would give the recipient a 10 percent net loss of support."

[Referring to reports that Britney Spears is pregnant]
Joel McHale, E!'s "The Soup": "She [Britney Spears] said her life would be turned around by having a baby. You are right. It would be an entire 360."
Olbermann: "And the skid marks would be seen up and down the boulevard."

Olbermann: "Gail Knight, a 26-year-old student in London, England, seeing a need and coming up with an idea. Just going into service there; if you text the word 'toilet' from your cell phone to SatLab service, it will send you back a text message telling you where the nearest public toilet is. Anybody tell Senator Larry Craig?"

# # #

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Drowning Pool tells Bill to f*** himself

Keith Olbermann report that dispels O'Reilly's assertion only he and Toby Keith visit the troops


Texas hard rock band DROWNING POOL has issued another statement regarding the recent on-air remarks by Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly allegedly claiming that he and is one of only two "celebrities" to support the troops via the USO.

"I have chewed on this whole Bill O'Reilly-blasting-the-USO subject for some time now trying to decide what aspect of this jackass's empty rants I wanted to shoot holes in first," an unidentified member of DROWNING POOL writes on the band's MySpace page. "What I have finally realized is that it's pointless to even start on this and point out every single sh**head aspect of this self-promoting, self-righteous poster child for birth control.

"He blasts the USO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? The only reason this sh**head even went over was to promote his new book. If you have the time, go to YouTube and search 'Keith Olberman USO Bill O'Reilly' and hear the facts. Please do.

"I'm not even going on any more with this. The fact is O'Reilly thinks he is above the truth and you can't argue with that kind of a person. Here is a group like the USO that for years upon years have given of themselves to do good by others that put themselves in harms way in the name of OUR country and this ****head decides he can just say what he wants and stack lie upon lie and attack anyone he wishes.

"So to Billdoe and his mindless sheep of an audience, go f**k yourself. You are a true waste of air...

"To wrap this up, I would like to say one last thing. You're such a true patriot, Bill, aren't you? So supportive of our troops, aye? That must be why you ignored the mission when your people were contacted on the matter.

"Wait, I'm sorry — this is about headlines NOW, isn't it?! Yeah, I forgot about the whole NEW BOOK to promote angle.

"Sad, sad man you are."